Reflections on Thanksgiving

My stomach is fit to explode. A delicious Thanksgiving indeed at my in-laws. Right now, I’m sitting on the couch, in my wonderful, blissful post-Thanksgiving dinner afterglow.

It’s heavenly.

. . .

I have a lot to be thankful for. For all the griping about wishing that we could have kids of our own, I’m still very lucky and blessed to have such abundance in my life: loving family, dear friends, our own home, adorable cats, and exciting new business ventures.

I live in a country with exceptional freedoms, including the freedom of dissent and discourse. For as much as may feel like sometimes, there’s still so much more I want – I do in fact, have a lot.

I don’t take any of this granted for a second.

. . .

And still…

I fantasize about making a joyful pregnancy reveal to family gathered ’round the Thanksgiving table. Everyone gasps and claps, congratulating us…

It’s a lovely fantasy.

. . .

And so begins the long trek for the infertile through the winter holidays.

. . .

And I remind myself: I live a life of abundance. I have to be the one to stop and recognize the grace given to me rather than feeling sorry for myself. My life is full.

My womb may not be.

But I have a life of abundance and grace. I do. And today, I remind myself of this.

We all have to remind ourselves of this once in a while.

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Comments

  1. Esperanza says

    Sometimes it’s hard to see what we have when we’re so focused on what we lack. Lord knows I am very good at doing just that. Thanks for reminding me to see what I have, even when I’m feeling frustrated by parts of my life. Thank you.

    I’m so glad you had an amazing Thanksgiving.

  2. Justine says

    I’m a Thanksgiving grinch … this November-December stretch is family hell. Thanks for the kick in the pants that reminded me what I *do* have. I am blessed, indeed.

    (Raising my glass.)

  3. Sonja says

    A beautiful post about being thankful yet wanting. *hugs* To you my friend. I’m so thankful for you being a part of my life!!

  4. Still hoping says

    Well said Keiko – it’s a hard balance to keep… wanting something so bad but trying to always be thankful for the wonderful things we do have. I wish we could have that mindset every day.

  5. Amanda says

    It is important to realize what we have to be thankful for and to try and not let the stress/negativity of IF take over. However, those dang fantasies of telling everyone pregnancy news can take over can’t they? Just once, you wish it was you instead of __________ (name the person surrounding you that is making the announcement).
    Hope the rest of the holidays are great!
    ICLW #105

  6. Chickenpig says

    I hope that you get to make that announcement soon. The holidays are a tough time, not doubt about it, even when we have a lot to be thankful for.

  7. Rachel says

    “And I remind myself: I live a life of abundance. I have to be the one to stop and recognize the grace given to me rather than feeling sorry for myself. My life is full.

    My womb may not be”

    You are so eloquent. Truly. xoxo