Here. Enjoy my slice of humble pie.
So. National Infertility Awareness Week has come and gone. I promised you a whole week’s worth of incredible interviews with folks from all over the infertility community. I uploaded a bunch of NIAW Facebook Timeline covers.
And then my website basically pooped itself.
I fought with my web host. After three years of dismal customer service, numerous outages and just general headaches, I noped right the hell outta there and into the arms of a new web hosting provider, HostGator*.
NIAW was incredibly successful, if not widely observed here at this website itself. Y’all went NUTS on social media for NIAW and it was amazing to watch all the awareness-raising unfold across social media over the course of the week. But standing here, from the porch of my blog, I’m disappointed that my whole hub of my web existence couldn’t join in on all the fun because my website just crapped out when the load got to be too much.
And besides: I have SEVEN infertility and adoption interviews to share with you!
Making it up to you.
Starting today, I’ll be posting a new blog every day, as I had previously promised. I’ll even belatedly post my NIAW post that was going to kick off the whole week of interview posts. Here’s how it was all supposed to go down…
There are many, many paths to resolution. No one path is “right” or “better” than another. Like our myriad of infertility experiences, so too are the ways in which we resolve. Sometimes we parent. Sometimes we come to parent in ways we never, ever expected. Sometimes we don’t parent at all. But you know what? That’s okay.
[tweet_quote] No matter how we resolve infertility, every path is valid. Every path matters.[/tweet_quote]
Here’s who we’ve got in store for you this week:
- Monday: The IVF Option by yours truly 😉
- Tuesday: The Surrogacy Option with infertility advocate and new mom after surrogacy, Whitney Anderson and the baller, awesomesauce Smart One Kym of The Smartness
- Wednesday: The Open-Hearted Adoption Option with Lori Holden, author of The Open-Hearted Way to Open Adoption
- Thursday: The Mind/Body Connection with Joanne Verkuilen, Founder and Co-CEO of Circle+Bloom
- Friday: The Empowered Patient with Rhonda Levy, Founder and CEO of Empowered IVF
- Saturday: Resolving Without Parenting with Pamela Mahoney Tsigdinos, author of Silent Sorority
Well, let’s kick things off, shall we?
The IVF Option: My Story
It’s hard to boil down four years of infertility into the context of just part of a blog post, so I’ll do my best. Many of you have been following me for years and know all the details, but for those just joining, it all started on March 18, 2009, the day I was diagnosed with premature ovarian failure. My doctor gave me three options: IVF with donor eggs, adoption, or resolving with parenting.
It was a bit of a blow, to say the least.
Right away, I knew I wanted to pursue IVF. Even though we wouldn’t use my own eggs, it was important to me that we at least try. If my body couldn’t make a baby, I could least try to carry and give birth to one. (Even then, things didn’t exactly go according to plan.)
We were incredibly fortunate to have a close friend of ours be our egg donor. Without her, we wouldn’t have the family we do now. At first, I was reluctant about working with a known donor for a variety of reasons, but over time, as the waiting grew longer and longer and it seemed like we might not ever start building our family, the known donor aspect just felt right. The timing felt right. So truly, it worked out for the best.
Here’s the best advice I have to give about my IVF experience, what I think anyone who’s considering IVF should know.
Have a support network of people who have either gone through IVF or are undergoing IVF currently.
PVED was my lifeline during our cycle. I had never been through IVF before, whereas many of the women on those forums had – without knowing what to expect, it was helpful to connect with other women who understood the very minute intricacies of IVF treatments. There are lots of forums to choose from.
Find a doctor your trust.
There was just something really special about my RE: I felt instantly welcomed and in good hands. There was never a moment’s hesitation or doubt. I knew that come retrieval and transfer days, both me and my donor were in the best hands we could be. If anything feels off to you: how the nurses are, the office staff, something about your doctor’s personality – take the time to find someone who you will feel completely comfortable with. It makes a huge difference.
Have a plan for your two-week wait, especially the day and night before.
Seriously: I was a basket-case. Save a TV show you’ve been meaning to binge-watch for your two-week wait if you can!
I have a lot more to say about my entire IVF experience: I was extremely lucky that it worked the first time. I was lucky that I had insurance to cover most of it, but we still paid $27,000 out-of-pocket (the tax deduction was amazing the next year). I could do labor and childbirth again, but I don’t know if I could handle IVF or pregnancy a second time.
Truly, the best thing you can do when considering the IVF option is to talk to people who’ve gone through it, read and research for yourself, and find a doctor or clinic that’s a good match for you and your situation. You can read all about my IVF journey here.
Stay tuned this week for a new post each day about another option when faced with infertility! If you’re an email subscriber to The Infertility Voice (you are, right?), I’ll save you the pain of a daily email from me. Instead, I’ll email out a roundup newsletter of all the interviews on Sunday morning.
*Things are so charming and lovely with HostGator that I will sing their praises to the mountaintops. In fact, if you’re thinking of picking up a new webhost, use my coupon code just for readers here at The Infertility Voice ifvoice25off2014 to take 25% off any hosting package at HostGator. (Why yes, I DO receive an affiliate commission from that link.)
#NIAW Interview Series:
“Resolve to Know More About…”
(All links will be live at the conclusion of the interview series.)
- » The IVF Option
Keiko Zoll, The Infertility Voice
- » The Surrogacy Option
Whitney Anderson, Infertility Advocate & Kymberli Barney, The Smartness
- » The Open-Hearted Adoption Option
Lori Holden, The Open-Hearted Way to Open Adoption
- » The Mind/Body Connection
Joanne Verkuilen, Circle+Bloom
- » Empowered Treatment Options
Rhonda Levy, Empowered IVF
- » The Resolving Without Parenting Option
Pamela Mahoney Tsigdinos, Silent Sorority