“Remember Me” and the Days of Awe

Photo by Keiko Zoll.

For Jews around the globe, including myself, we exist now in a perilous time of year known as Yamim Noraim - the Days of Awe. The ten days in between the start of Rosh HaShanah, the Jewish New Year, and the end of Yom Kippur, the Jewish Day of Atonement, constitute the holiest days of the year for us. We are in a precarious state: G-d opens the Book of Life on Rosh HaShanah and closes it at sunset at the end of Yom Kippur. In it, G-d writes who shall be born and who shall die, who by fire, ... Read on »

These are for you.


(I hope you like tulips.) According to a 2010 report from the National Retail Federation, Mother's Day is second-most popular holiday for fresh flower purchases, behind Christmas. People will spend $1.9 billion on flowers for Mother's Day. That's billion with a b. If I could buy you all flowers today, I would. These are for the someday moms. These are for the waiting arms. These are for the birth mothers. These are for the once a mother. These are for the finally ... Read on »

Finding Infertility Answers at Answers.com

Check out my work at infertility.answers.com!

Howdy folks! Did you know I write for Answers.com as their Infertility Expert? I feel like I completely forgot to announce this here and just slapped up the badge on my sidebar without any context! I've been writing for Answers.com since May and have published 45 articles so far. I wanted to feature just a quick roundup of posts; I'm hoping to do an infertility.answers.com roundup monthly with some of my favorite articles. Check 'em out, leave a comment and share if you find them ... Read on »

Eat, Drink and Be Merry – Or Don’t: An Infertility Holiday Survival Guide

Surviving Infertility and the Holidays

In case you missed it, the rush for the end of year holidays has begun. I find, that for the life of the infertile, that dash begins right around Hallowe'en, although Back to School season has begun creeping in on this territory, too. From Hallowe'en it's practically light warp speed straight to Christmas. Forget Thanksgiving. That poor bastard of a holiday's been left in the dust. And Hanukkah? Well... we get our seasonal endcaps filled with gelt, blue and silver decorations, and cheap ... Read on »

An announcement, a proposal, a prayer and a promise.

I have been writing this post, over and over and over, trying best to figure out just how I was going to phrase my words to you today. There's so much I want to say, so I imagine this will be a wordy post. I figured the best way to get through it all was to break it down into four parts: an announcement, a proposal, a prayer and a promise. 1. An announcement. I know you have all been eagerly waiting all weekend for my beta results, many of you leaving comments at my Facebook page or some ... Read on »

11dp3dt: Pulling in the Oars

pull in your oars. trust the river. it will be okay.

A Wise Woman once told me: sometimes, you have to pull in your oars and let the river take you where it wants to go. You have to let go of that control and instead be carried by - and ultimately, trust - the Universe. There is no amount of wishing, praying, begging or bargaining that will change what's happening in my womb. I cannot use magical thinking to produce stunning beta results on Thursday. Nature and/or G-d has already made that decision. Tomorrow's beta is simply the ... Read on »

Show Your Love with #GROWTeamZoll at Noon Today

The first waiting game begins. We have six embryos, doin' their thang in a petri dish. G-dwilling, all six make it to transfer tomorrow. All it takes is one. Larry and I have been calling ourselves Team Zoll for some time now. We even have shirts that say "Team Zoll Est. 2008" on the front and "01" and "02" respectively on the backs. And in a special box where I keep special things, I have a tiny youth-sized t-shirt and the stencils I used to make ours. That shirt is just for Team Zoll #3, ... Read on »


When I saw the caller ID on my phone flash "Blocked" I knew it was from the clinic. Ah yes, my fertilization report, I thought. I looked at the clock: a little before 2pm. Finally! When she said we had six embryos, I thought my phone must've cut out. Surely she meant to say six-teen. "I'm sorry, say again?" I said into the phone, pressing it harder against my ear. "You have six embryos," she said again. I wonder how many of these calls she's making today. I wonder what it must be ... Read on »

CD35: Avinu Malkenu

Today is Yom Kippur. Our egg retrieval is at 7am today. I will not be online today in observance of the Day of Atonement, but please feel free to leave your thoughts and well wishes here in the comments. I wrote this last night - a smattering of thoughts written on the eve of our egg retrieval; my apologies if they don't make sense - I just needed to get them out of my head. B'Rosh Hashanah yika-teyvun... On Rosh Hashanah it is Written. Uv-yom tzom kippur yeychateymun. And on ... Read on »

CD26: My Three Wishes for the New Year

The You Project

L'shana tovah, folks. The Jewish New Year begins an incredibly sacred period known as the Days of Awe. In synagogues around the world, Jews began yet another new year by hearing the story of Hannah chanted aloud. It's interesting how the subject of infertility gets perhaps one of the most primo spots on the Jewish calendar; it's an thoughtful juxtaposition with the Binding of Isaac, also heard in synagogues around the world this week. At the end of that story, Abraham is promised his ... Read on »